tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81812171754850153672024-03-08T23:27:40.517+05:30Hiren Barbhaya's BlogHiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-70239232864816146562012-05-25T18:08:00.003+05:302012-05-25T18:08:46.762+05:30Exciting career opportunities with - GE Energy – Software Solutions Group @ Mumbai Technology Center<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Friends,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Exciting career opportunities exists with - </span><b><span lang="EN" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">GE Energy – Software Solutions Group @ Mumbai Technology Center.</span></b></div>
<br />There are multiple ways to apply<br />1) send me your resumes and I would take forward.(<a href="mailto:hmbarbhaya@gmail.com">hmbarbhaya@gmail.com</a>)<br />2) send your resume directly to <span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span><a href="mailto:geii.careers.mumbai@ge.com" target="_blank"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">geii.careers.mumbai@ge.com</span></a><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> with Subject line – “Dot Net/C++ Expert_May2012” or “SDET_May 2012”</span><span style="font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> with keeping me in loop</span><br />
3) Upload resume direct to site with referring my name "Hirenkumar Barbhaya"<br />
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">To apply for <b>Product Architect, Senior Engineer or Lead Software Engineer (5 to 15 years of relevant experience)</b> click here </span><span style="font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="http://jobs.gecareers.com/search?q=1401546" target="_blank">http://jobs.gecareers.com/<wbr></wbr>search?q=1401546</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">To apply for <b>Software Engineer or Advanced Software Engineer (below 5 yrs exp)</b> click here </span><a href="http://jobs.gecareers.com/search?q=1546237" target="_blank"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">http://jobs.gecareers.com/<wbr></wbr>search?q=1546237</span></a><span style="font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">To apply for <b>SDET - Software Development Engineer in Test</b> click here </span><a href="http://jobs.gecareers.com/search?q=1524423" target="_blank" title="http://jobs.gecareers.com/search?q=1524423"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">http://jobs.gecareers.com/<wbr></wbr>search?q=1524423</span></a><span><span style="color: #1f497d;"></span></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Screening Process</span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span>1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">To register for a code challenge round or </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span>2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">To confirm your available time to connect</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Please click here -> </span><a href="http://supportcentral.ge.com/esurvey/takesurvey.asp?p=17778&d=3602650" target="_blank"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">http://supportcentral.ge.com/<wbr></wbr>esurvey/takesurvey.asp?p=<wbr></wbr>17778&d=3602650</span></a><span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></span><span><span style="color: #1f497d;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d;">(applying @ </span><a href="http://jobs.gecareers.com/" target="_blank">http://jobs.gecareers.com</a><span style="color: #1f497d;"> is must – please refer job codes provided above in this mail)</span></div>
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<b><u><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Code Challenge Process </span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span>Ø<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Once
you have selected a slot that you prefer on a weekend for a code
challenge, you will receive the code problem to solve, 20 min before the
start time.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span>Ø<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><u><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Please ensure you have visual studio installed or use machine which would have visual studio.</span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span>Ø<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">After you have solved as per the guidelines and instructions given – please reply within stated time.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span>Ø<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Post the code writing, successful candidates would go through a telephonic technical interview, followed by a F2F interview.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span>Ø<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Candidates
finally selected will have to supply two references from responsible
individuals who were associated with them in a supervisory relationship .
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<b><u><span style="background: yellow; color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">About us and Career Opportunities available</span></u></b><b><u><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></u></b></div>
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<b><span lang="EN" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">GE Energy – Software Solutions Group @ Mumbai Technology Center</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> <wbr></wbr> <wbr></wbr> <wbr></wbr> <img alt="Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: cid:image002.png@01CD3396.82006F70" border="0" height="58" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=f66e9c94af&view=att&th=13783dc67eef9777&attid=0.4&disp=emb&realattid=954bd198b5297977_0.1&zw&atsh=1" width="240" /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><img alt="Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: cid:image003.png@01CD3396.82006F70" border="0" height="76" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=f66e9c94af&view=att&th=13783dc67eef9777&attid=0.3&disp=emb&realattid=954bd198b5297977_0.2&zw&atsh=1" width="250" /><img alt="Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: cid:image004.png@01CD3396.82006F70" border="0" height="108" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=f66e9c94af&view=att&th=13783dc67eef9777&attid=0.1&disp=emb&realattid=954bd198b5297977_0.3&zw&atsh=1" width="213" /><img alt="Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: cid:image005.png@01CD3396.82006F70" border="0" height="122" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=f66e9c94af&view=att&th=13783dc67eef9777&attid=0.2&disp=emb&realattid=954bd198b5297977_0.4&zw&atsh=1" width="215" /></span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
Software Solutions Group (SSG) , has been set up to provide advanced
software solutions, based on SOA, C++/DCOM,.NET, Decision Support and
Optimization technologies to monitor, protect, control, and validate the
safety of critical industrial assets, processes and applications. SSG
has development centers in Mumbai, Hyderabad in India, Minden , Norfolk,
Atlanta, Melbourne in the US and Cambridge in UK and follow a global,
unified set of processes, standards, methodologies and software
lifecycle tools. A culture of meritocracy with strong appraisal
processes, ensures outstanding employees are rewarded aggressively and
groomed for leadership across the business.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Business:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">GE Energy</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="background: yellow; color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">About Us:</span></u></b><b><u><span style="background: yellow; color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This
is an exciting time to be in GE Energy. GE Energy Services Engineering
has more than 1800 engineers in 45 locations within 17 countries. We
lead in technology fields from turbine and generator technology to
sensors, controls, meters, and many other products. Within the Software
Solutions Group, we develop software products supporting power
generation, transmission and distribution right through to end-user
metering, monitoring and diagnostics and performance optimization of
critical and essential industrial assets . The need for new technologies
to help drive a cleaner, smarter energy continues to grow at a rapid
rate. The Software Solutions Group (SSG) is an integrated part of the
solution that will help deliver these world-class energy products to GE
customers.</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Function:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Engineering/Technology</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Function Segment: </span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Product Design and Development</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Location: </span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">India</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">City: </span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mumbai</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Compensation and Benefits:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A
competitive Compensation and Benefits package + Group Medical
Insurance, Life and Accident cover, Paid leave, Employee Share Purchase,
Lunch Subsidy. The company has very strong Reward and Recognition,
Employee Education Support , eLearning and leadership training
programs. New employees are eligible for relocation assistance.</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Relocation Assistance:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yes</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="background: yellow; color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif";">Product Architect, Senior/Lead Software Engineer</span></u></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Job Number:</span></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">1401546</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Posted Position Title:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Product Architect, Senior/Lead Software Engineer</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 19.3pt;"><td style="min-height: 19.3pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 27.46%;" valign="top" width="27%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Role Summary/Purpose:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td style="min-height: 19.3pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 72.54%;" valign="top" width="72%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For building OC Multi-generation Technology Platform </span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 56.25pt;"><td style="min-height: 56.25pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 27.46%;" valign="top" width="27%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Essential Responsibilities:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td style="min-height: 56.25pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 72.54%;" valign="top" width="72%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Lead
Engineers with great passion for technology and strong architectural
skills, having 5 to 8 years of relevant industry experience in
technologies such as .Net, WPF/WCF, C++. The candidate should possess
strong technical leadership skills, good understanding on design
patterns, refactoring methodologies, test driven development and should
drive to meet technical excellence. Additionally experience in building
Framework/Infrastructure components and exposure to SCRUM methodologies
would be desirable.</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You will be expected to innovate to create and improve current products and processes on a continuous basis.</span><span style="color: #1f497d;"></span></div>
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<tr style="min-height: 18.9pt;"><td style="min-height: 18.9pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 27.46%;" valign="top" width="27%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Qualifications/Requirements:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td style="min-height: 18.9pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 72.54%;" valign="top" width="72%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">BE/MCA or equivalent with 5 to 15 years of relevant experience</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 18.9pt;"><td style="min-height: 18.9pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 27.46%;" valign="top" width="27%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-right: 18.45pt;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Desired Characteristics:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td style="min-height: 18.9pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 72.54%;" valign="top" width="72%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Great
passion for technology and strong architectural skills, having 5 to 15
years of relevant industry experience in technologies such as .Net,
WPF/WCF, C++.</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
candidate should possess strong technical leadership skills, good
understanding on design patterns, refactoring methodologies, test driven
development and should drive to meet technical excellence. Additionally
experience in building Framework/Infrastructure components and exposure
to SCRUM methodologies would be desirable. </span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 18.9pt;"><td style="min-height: 18.9pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 27.46%;" valign="top" width="27%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Job Segments:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td style="min-height: 18.9pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 72.54%;" valign="top" width="72%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Developer, Engineer, Engineering, Software Engineer, Technology</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
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<div style="background: #fafafa; margin-right: 1.5pt;">
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<div style="background: #fafafa;">
<b><u><span style="background: yellow; color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif";">Software Engineer</span></u></b></div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 109.88%;"><tbody>
<tr><td colspan="2" style="padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 28.34%;" valign="top" width="28%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Job Number: </span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td colspan="2" style="padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 70.44%;" valign="top" width="70%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">1546237</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
</td><td style="padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in; width: 1.0%;" width="1%"><div class="MsoNormal">
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<tr><td colspan="2" style="padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 28.34%;" valign="top" width="28%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Posted Position Title: </span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td colspan="2" style="padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 70.44%;" valign="top" width="70%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Software Engineer</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
</td><td style="padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in; width: 1.0%;" width="1%"><div class="MsoNormal">
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" style="padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 28.34%;" valign="top" width="28%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Role Summary/Purpose:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td colspan="2" style="padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 70.44%;" valign="top" width="70%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Will be a member of HDGT CBM Software development team with knowledge and skills to work as a development /design engineer</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
</td><td style="padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in; width: 1.0%;" width="1%"><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" style="padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 28.34%;" valign="top" width="28%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Essential Responsibilities:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td colspan="2" style="padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 70.44%;" valign="top" width="70%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Require
Software Engineers with great passion for technology and strong
fundamentals in technologies such as .Net, WPF/WCF, C++. The candidate
should possess strong analytical skills and should have a good
understanding of Operating Systems, Data Structures, and Object oriented
programming)</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
</td><td style="padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in; width: 1.0%;" width="1%"><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" style="padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 28.34%;" valign="top" width="28%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Qualifications/Requirements:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td colspan="2" style="padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 70.44%;" valign="top" width="70%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">* BE/MCA or equivalent </span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">*
Should have good analytical capabilities, knowledge on data structures,
and have expertise on C, C++ & C# programming languages.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d;">* </span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You will be expected to innovate to create and improve current products and processes on a continuous basis.</span><span style="color: #1f497d;"></span></div>
</td><td style="padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in; width: 1.0%;" width="1%"><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" style="padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 28.34%;" valign="top" width="28%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Desired Characteristics:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td colspan="2" style="padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 70.44%;" valign="top" width="70%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">* Must have strong software knowledge 2+ years experience.<br />
* Familiar with methods and techniques of structured reviews. <br />* Experience of working in an environment with strict quality procedures. <br />* Effective oral expression and written expression, easy contact, adaptable, can foster team spirit. <br />
* Excellent Planning and organizational skills. <br />* Excellent communicator and team player: <br />* Experience working in Agile development environment. <br />* Six - Sigma Green belt trained (GE Employees).</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
</td><td style="padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in; width: 1.0%;" width="1%"><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" style="padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 28.34%;" valign="top" width="28%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Job Segments:</span></b></span><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td colspan="2" style="padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 70.44%;" valign="top" width="70%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Design Engineer, Developer, Engineer, Engineering, Management, Manufacturing Engineer, Six Sigma, Software Engineer, Technology</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
</td><td style="padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in; width: 1.0%;" width="1%"><div class="MsoNormal">
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</td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 7.5pt;"><td style="min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in; width: 0%;" width="0%"><br /></td><td colspan="2" style="background: white; min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 30.34%;" valign="top" width="30%"><div style="background: #fafafa;">
<b><u><span style="background: yellow; color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif";">Software Development Engineers in Test (SDET)</span></u></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif";"></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Job Number: </span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td colspan="2" style="background: white; min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 69.34%;" valign="top" width="69%"><div style="background: #fafafa;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">1524423</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 7.5pt;"><td style="min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in; width: 0%;" width="0%"><br /></td><td colspan="2" style="background: white; min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 30.34%;" valign="top" width="30%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Posted Position Title: </span></b></span><span><b><span style="background: silver; color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif";"></span></b></span></div>
</td><td colspan="2" style="background: white; min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 69.34%;" valign="top" width="69%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><u><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Software Development Engineers in Test (SDET)</span></u></b><span><b><u><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif";"></span></u></b></span></div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 7.5pt;"><td style="min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in; width: 0%;" width="0%"><br /></td><td colspan="2" style="background: white; min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 30.34%;" valign="top" width="30%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Role Summary/Purpose:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td colspan="2" style="background: white; min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 69.34%;" valign="top" width="69%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">SDET
: Exp 3+ years, with knowledge and skills to work as development
/design engineer, with acceptance test responsibilities and has
experience in .Net, C#, C++, WPF, WCF, NUnit/Junit, MStest, Fitnesse,
and has exposure to UI automation or API techniques, and to Agile/Scrum
methodologies. This is primarily a test automation role.</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
SDET is responsible for leading and driving teams to delivery quality
products, establish world class test automation, quality practices,
right through the entire project life cycle, providing built in quality
to the software products being developed. Integrates and supports
processes that meet business needs across the organization.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Engineers who have passion for Testing and believe that they can make a difference.</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 7.5pt;"><td style="min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in; width: 0%;" width="0%"><br /></td><td colspan="2" style="background: white; min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 30.34%;" valign="top" width="30%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Essential Responsibilities:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td colspan="2" style="background: white; min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 69.34%;" valign="top" width="69%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Manage
all testing activities to execute and complete assignments for a
project. Provide technical development for testers. Serve as recognized
expert on testing initiatives, test automation practices &
processes. Work in conjunction with the Quality Manager to develop test
release criteria and ensure test cases and use cases are written and are
testable. Establish and drive testing processes, procedures, and
testing metrics while improving quality to the customer. Drive test
automation for the team. Validate acceptance criteria and right level of
automation for the user stories covering performance and deployment
scenarios. <br />
Ensure traceability of requirements to test cases; develop a detailed
test plan and lead execution of test activities according to plan.
Ensure test records are maintained and analysis performed of all test
failures and defects detected are reported in the defect tracking
system. Create, communicate and drive a clear operating and
prioritization rhythm for the team. Work as part of a global team
supporting testing issues. Collect, evaluate and publish quality metrics
and test results to the project team. Work as a coach/mentor to develop
less experienced Engineers. You will be expected to innovate to create
and improve current products and processes on a continuous basis.</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 7.5pt;"><td style="min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in; width: 0%;" width="0%"><br /></td><td colspan="2" style="background: white; min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 30.34%;" valign="top" width="30%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Qualifications/Requirements:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td colspan="2" style="background: white; min-height: 7.5pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 69.34%;" valign="top" width="69%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">* </span></span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">BE/MCA or equivalent, Exp 3+ years in a testing role or development role using C++, C#, .net technologies</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Ability to learn product concepts and new technologies.</span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 71.1pt;"><td style="min-height: 71.1pt; padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in; width: 0%;" width="0%"><br /></td><td colspan="2" style="background: white; min-height: 71.1pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 30.34%;" valign="top" width="30%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Desired Characteristics:</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
</td><td colspan="2" style="background: white; min-height: 71.1pt; padding: 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt 2.25pt; width: 69.34%;" valign="top" width="69%"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "GE Inspira","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Exposure
to Microsoft Office Suite is required Knowledge of Quality Center and
test automation. Strong oral and written communication skills. Strong
interpersonal and leadership skills. Able to apply principles of logical
or scientific reasoning to a wide range of intellectual and practical
problems. Demonstrated ability to document, plan, and test programs that
further the quality, through processes for the business. Problem
analysis and resolution skills. Able to work under moderate supervision.
Knowledge of practices and procedures related to the development, test,
and implementation of products. Demonstrated effective interpersonal,
teamwork & networking skills. </span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-61396287714804978942011-08-10T18:01:00.000+05:302011-08-10T18:01:24.778+05:30Life Living Alphabet A to Z<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><u><span style="color: #e36c0a;">L<span style="color: #e36c0a;">ife Living Alphabet A to Z :: Be Positive :: Happy Life</span></span></u></i></b></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">A</span><span style="color: #984806;"> </span><span style="color: #e36c0a;">- Avoid Negative Sources, Thoughts, People.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">B - Believe in Yourself.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">C - Consider things from all angles.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">D - Don't Give up or Give In.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">E - Enjoy Life Today. Tomorrow may not come.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">F - Family and Friends are Hidden Treasures. Gift of God to you.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">G - Give more than you Planned to Give.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">H - Hang on to your Dreams.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">I - Ignore those who Discourage you.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">J - Just Do it!</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">K - Keep doing no matter how hard it seems! It'll become easier.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">L - Love yourself First and Most.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">M – Make it Happen.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">N - Never Lie, Cheat or Steal. Always strike a fair deal.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">O – Own up your Mistakes. That is the least you can do.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">P – Practice makes you Perfect.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">Q – Quitters Never Win and Winners never Quit.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">R – Read, Study and Learn everything Important in your Life.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">S – Stop Procrastinating.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">T – Take Control of your Destiny.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">U – Understand yourself better to understand others.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">V - Visualize It!</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">W - Want it more than anything.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">X – Xcellerate your efforts.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;">Y – You are Unique of God’s Creation. Nothing can Replace you.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"> <span style="color: #e36c0a;">Z – Zero in your target and Go for it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e36c0a;"><b>Source : Forwarded E-Mail</b> </span></span></div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-51470776516342419142011-03-28T18:13:00.000+05:302011-03-28T18:13:28.937+05:30Hindi Shayris<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">मेरी तुम्हारी बात कोइ फ़साना तो हे नहि,</span></div><div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">हे भी अगर तो सबको बताना तो हे नहि,</span></div><div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">तुम दो फ़रेब् और मे समजु हुन्नर उसको,</span></div><div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">इतना भी सादगी क जमाना तो हे नहि !</span></div><div> <div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">————————————————————–</span></div></div><div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">तुजसे शिक्वे थे कई अब कोइ फ़रियाद् नहि,</span></div><div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">तुजसे मिलता था कभी वो भी मुज्हे याद नहि !</span></div><div> <div></div><div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">————————————————————–</span></div><div> <div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">लोग कहते हे हमे आदत हे मुस्कुराने की</span></div><div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">वो क्या जाने ये भी एक अदा हे गम छुपाने की !!!</span></div><div> <span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">————————————————————– </span><br />
<div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">किस लिये मुजसे खफ़ा हे ये बताया भी नहि,</span></div><div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">उसने देखा भी और बुलाया भी नहि,</span></div><div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">उम्र की धूप मे जल जाओगे ख्वाबोके बदन,</span></div><div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">रन्ज वो पेड हे जिसक कोइ साया भी नहि !</span></div><div><span style="font-family: courier new,monospace; font-size: small;">————————————————————–</span></div></div></div></div></div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-85821651057956057392011-03-03T19:17:00.000+05:302011-03-03T19:17:59.882+05:30कविता<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span id="search">गम <em>को करो</em> Delete,</span></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">ख़ुशी को करो Save,<br />
<br />
रिश्तों को करो Recharge,<br />
<br />
दोस्ती को करो Download,<br />
<br />
दुश्मनी को करो Erase,<br />
<br />
सच को करो Broadcast,<br />
<br />
झूठ को करो Switch Off,<br />
<br />
Tension को करो Not Reachable,<br />
<br />
प्यार को करो Incoming on,<br />
<br />
नफरत को करो Outgoing Off,<br />
<br />
Language करो Control,<br />
<br />
हंसी को करो Outbox Full,<br />
<br />
आंसू को करो Inbox Empty,<br />
<br />
गुस्से को करो Hold,<br />
<br />
मुस्कान को करो Send,<br />
<br />
Help को करो OK,<br />
<br />
Self को करो Autolock,<br />
<br />
दिल को करो Vibrate,<br />
<br />
फिर देखो Life की Ringtone कितनी Polyphonic हो जायेगी</span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>लेखक : मालूम नहीं (किसीको मालूम हो तो बताये)<br />
</b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>स्त्रोत : फोरवार्देद इ-मेल</b></span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div></div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-8876305170592835642011-02-21T08:24:00.000+05:302011-02-21T08:24:08.072+05:30Cool Definitions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><b>1) What is Life??</b><br />
<br />
They say Life is from <i><b>B to D (means Birth to Death)</b></i>, but what's between <i><b>B and D? It's "C" (means Choice)</b></i>...<br />
<b>Life is a matter of choices... </b><br />
<br />
<b>2) What is FAMILY??</b><br />
<br />
Family is one of the strongest words anyone can say, because the letters of FAMILY means<br />
"<b>F</b>ather <b>A</b>nd <b>M</b>other <b>I</b> <b>L</b>ove <b>Y</b>ou"</div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-39521185845305893202011-02-18T11:57:00.001+05:302011-02-18T11:58:26.930+05:30Intelligent Interview Answers<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it</span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">take four men to build it?</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)</span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples</span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)</span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant withone</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A. No Problems, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Q. What looks like half apple?</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A : Dinner.</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A : Liquid (UPSC 33 Rank)</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Interviewer said "I shall either ask you</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">you make up your mind!" The boy thought for awhile and said,"my choice </span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">is one really difficult question."</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.</span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"What comes first, Day or Night?"</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said,</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"It's the DAY sir!"</span></div><div style="color: magenta; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"How" the interviewer asked,</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">difficult question!"</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">He was selected for IIM!</span></div></div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-88108611166761688092011-02-15T20:44:00.003+05:302011-02-15T20:49:08.507+05:30Nothing has Changed<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;">20 years back - School bag.</span><br style="color: red;" /><span style="color: red;">Today - Office bag.</span><br />
<br style="color: blue;" /><span style="color: blue;">20 years back - A notebook</span><br style="color: blue;" /><span style="color: blue;">Today - HP Note book</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: magenta;">20 years back - Hero Ranger</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">Today - Hero Honda (May be Honda City)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: lime;">20 years back - Half Pants</span><br style="color: lime;" /><span style="color: lime;">Today - Full Pants</span><br style="color: purple;" /><br style="color: purple;" /><span style="color: purple;">20 years back - Playing with plastic cars running on battery</span><br style="color: purple;" /><span style="color: purple;">Today - Playing with metal car running on petrol</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange;">20 years back - Scared of teachers and exams!</span><br style="color: orange;" /><span style="color: orange;">Today - Scared of Bosses and targets</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">20 years back - Wanting to be the class topper</span><br style="color: red;" /><span style="color: red;">Today - Wanting to be the employee of the month</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple;">20 years back - Quarterly Exams</span><br style="color: purple;" /><span style="color: purple;">Today - Quarterly results</span><br />
<br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">20 years back - Annual Exams</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">Today - Annual appraisals</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: lime;">20 years back - Pocket Money</span><br style="color: lime;" /><span style="color: lime;">Today - Salary</span><br />
<br style="color: orange;" /><span style="color: orange;">20 years back - Eagerly Waiting for Diwali crackers</span><br style="color: orange;" /><span style="color: orange;">Today - Eagerly waiting for Diwali Bonus</span><br />
<br style="color: cyan;" /><span style="color: cyan;">20 years back - Craving for the latest toy in the market</span><br style="color: #cc0000;" /><span style="color: cyan;">Today - Craving for the latest gadget in the market</span><br />
<br />
<b>So did you realize nothing has changed.</b></span></div></div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-80506387538033342972011-02-11T10:08:00.000+05:302011-02-11T10:08:03.282+05:30Romantic - Unromantic Combo Pack<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><i>A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line. </i> </b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Here are some of the entries they received.</b><br />
<br style="color: blue;" /><span style="color: blue;">I thought that I could love no other</span><br style="color: blue;" /><span style="color: blue;">Until, that is, I met your brother.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple;">Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.</span><br style="color: purple;" /><span style="color: purple;">But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: magenta;">Oh loving beauty you float with grace</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">If only you could hide your face</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange;">Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;</span><br style="color: orange;" /><span style="color: orange;">This describes everything you are not</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: lime;">I want to feel your sweet embrace</span><br style="color: lime;" /><span style="color: lime;">But don't take that paper bag off of your face</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;">I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -</span><br style="color: red;" /><span style="color: red;">Damn, I'm good at telling lies!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: cyan;">My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:</span><br style="color: cyan;" /><span style="color: cyan;">Marrying you screwed up my life</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple;">I see your face when I am dreaming.</span><br style="color: purple;" /><span style="color: purple;">That's why I always wake up screaming</span><br />
<br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">My love, you take my breath away.</span><br style="color: magenta;" /><span style="color: magenta;">What have you stepped on to smell this way</span><br />
<br style="color: #274e13;" /><span style="color: #274e13;">My feelings for you no words can tell,</span><br style="color: #274e13;" /><span style="color: #274e13;">Except for maybe "go to hell"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: red;">What inspired this amorous rhyme?</span><br style="background-color: white; color: red;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: red;">Two parts vodka, one part lime</span></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: red;"><b><span style="color: black;">Source : Forwarded E-Mail</span></b> </span></span></div></div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-8011340384573652652011-02-09T10:39:00.000+05:302011-02-09T10:39:54.709+05:30I Want to Go Back To College<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: blue;">Following are the reasons why I want to go back to College....</span></b></span><b><span style="color: blue;"> </span></b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: blue;">1. On being Late:**</span></b><b><br />
<br />
"Kab shuru hui class?"<br />
<br />
"Attendance ho gayi kya??"<br />
<br />
"Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar"<br />
<br />
"Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu......... bolna ....... kal kya<br />
padaya tha isne"<br />
<br />
"Ek page de na.......... abey pen bhi to de, nahi to kisse<br />
likhunga......."<br />
<br />
" koi subah kaise aa sakta hai........"<br />
<br />
"wo bhi iss class ke liye "*<span style="color: blue;"><br />
<br />
<br />
*2. During the lecture:**</span><br />
<br />
"Yesss!!!! Sirrr.......The answer is<br />
<br />
........huuuummmmm.......<wbr></wbr>aaaaaaaa............."<br />
<br />
"No sir.....I know the answer ......sir...."<br />
<br />
"Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai"<br />
<br />
"Abe lecture ko maar goli..... Anjali kya lag rahi hai aaj........"<br />
<br />
"Uski tshirt pe kya likha hai dekh"<br />
<br />
"Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha kya.......gadha......."<br />
<br />
"Kya bore kar raha hai. Bola tha canteen chalte hain .."<br />
<br />
"Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go now!!!"*<span style="color: blue;"><br />
<br />
*3. Lab:**</span><br />
<br />
"Expt. 2 likha??"<br />
<br />
"last time tu aaya the kya?""<br />
<br />
"Karna kya hai??"<br />
<br />
"Yeh bhai.....merko pata hota to tere pass kyon aata........"<br />
<br />
"Areee tu to bura maan gaya .......chal dikha na.....bhau kyo kata<br />
hai...."<br />
<br />
**<span style="color: blue;"><br />
<br />
4. Sessionals Test:**</span><br />
<br />
"sessionals test???? ......Aree yaar...... "<br />
<br />
"Kya....... abe unit test mein itna sara topic hai to final mein kya<br />
hoga...."<br />
<br />
"Oye Sushil kaha hai......uska roll number mere baad hai.......wo nahi<br />
aaya to mein pakka fail...."<br />
<br />
After test......<br />
<br />
"yaar pada tha....recall nahi kar paya.......chhod na ....... Canteen<br />
chalega..." SAHI !!<br />
<br />
**<span style="color: blue;"><br />
<br />
5. For attendance**</span><br />
<br />
"I was in the class, attendence bolna bhool gaya "<br />
<br />
"Oye usko thoda khush kar list se tera naam hata dega........"<br />
<br />
"Bola tha proxy regularly maar........ Saale tera class karne ka kya<br />
faida hua....."<br />
<br />
**<span style="color: blue;"><br />
<br />
6. Late submission of assignments:**</span><br />
<br />
" Maine us ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein<br />
submit kar dena"<br />
<br />
"Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya........"<br />
<br />
"They should allow XEROX........sala system hi kharab hai "<br />
<br />
**<span style="color: blue;"><br />
<br />
7 . After exam:**</span><br />
<br />
"Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya? Shitt..."<br />
<br />
"kya bol raha hai yaar..aise karna tha kya"<br />
<br />
"1st mein 3 marks.....2nd mein 0.......3rd mein 2.......<br />
Gaya ..........fail pakka......."<br />
<br />
"Yaar notice lagte hi hata dena........wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh<br />
kar......"<br />
<br />
**<span style="color: blue;"><br />
<br />
8 . VIVA (b4 exam):**</span><br />
<br />
"Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"<br />
<br />
"Aeee.......Akash.....terese kya kya poocha....mood kaisa hai.."<br />
<br />
"External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya......."<br />
<br />
"Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak<br />
preparation nahi hui hai"<br />
<br />
**<span style="color: blue;"><br />
<br />
9 . Submission:**</span><br />
<br />
"Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?"<br />
<br />
"kaat kaat ke likh le...kaon padhta hai"<br />
<br />
"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"<br />
<br />
"Jai ho computer baba ki......jai ho Ctrl C - Ctrl V ki......."<br />
<br />
"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"<br />
<br />
**<span style="color: blue;"><br />
<br />
10 .Copying Assignments:**</span><br />
<br />
"Ye tune kya likha hai????"<br />
<br />
"Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha<br />
hai uska drawing nikal"</b><b> (The best one)</b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><br />
"Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??"<br />
<br />
" Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya, tu bhi wohi kar."<br />
<br />
"Koi hint........"<br />
<br />
"Are baba ghaseet de........na tu samjega na wo........"<br />
<br />
**</b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: blue;"><br />
11. Exam:**</span><br />
<br />
"Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai<br />
woh NAHI aata hai" ..VERY VERY TRUE !!<br />
<br />
"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai yaar....to ab kya poochenge"<br />
<br />
"ye last time hi poochha thaa......is baar nahi aana chahiye"<br />
<br />
"tere paas is ke notes hai??"<br />
<br />
"Neend aa rahi mujhe to...thodi der so jata hoo..utha diyo pakka"<br />
<br />
"woh chapter... mark weightage 6 marks... (facial ex-pressions speaks<br />
the story)"<br />
<br />
"nahi samjha to rat le" - PERFECT ONE<br />
<br />
"Iss paper mein roll number ke kya order hai........"<br />
<br />
"Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya........."<br />
I AGREE !! !!*</b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: blue;">*This one is dedicated to all my friends:</span></b><b><br />
<br />
"bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai , </b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Aaj har wo din jeene ko man karta hai.<br />
</b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain </b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain.<br />
<br />
abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai, </b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Dopahar ki class mein aakhein band karne ko man karta hai.<br />
<br />
Doston ke room ki wo baatein yaad aati hai,</b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak yaad aati hai,<br />
<br />
college ke cafeteria ki yaad aati hai,</b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b> tab ki bekar lagne wali photos chehre pe hasi laati hai.<br />
<br />
Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai. </b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Par tumhari galti dekhne ka ab bhi mann karta hai.<br />
<br />
Ek aisi subah uthne ka mann karta hai , </b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai.<br />
bas ek bar aur, wapas lautne ka man karta hai."*</b></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Source: Forwarded E-Mail</b></span><br />
<b> </b></span></div></div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-13136400604726459372011-02-08T17:58:00.000+05:302011-02-08T17:58:51.685+05:30गब्बर सिंह का चरित्र चित्रण<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="font-family: courier new,monospace;"><span style="font-size: medium;">1.<strong> </strong><strong>सादा</strong><strong> </strong><strong>जीवन</strong><strong>, </strong><strong>उच्च</strong><strong> </strong><strong>विचार</strong>: उसके जीने का ढंग बड़ा सरल था. पुराने और मैले कपड़े, बढ़ी हुई दाढ़ी, महीनों से जंग खाते दांत और पहाड़ों पर खानाबदोश जीवन. जैसे मध्यकालीन भारत का फकीर हो. जीवन में अपने लक्ष्य की ओर इतना समर्पित कि ऐशो-आराम और विलासिता के लिए एक पल की भी फुर्सत नहीं. और विचारों में उत्कृष्टता के क्या कहने! 'जो डर गया, सो मर गया' जैसे संवादों से उसने जीवन की क्षणभंगुरता पर प्रकाश डाला था.</span></div><div style="font-family: courier new,monospace;"><span style="font-size: medium;">२. <strong>दयालु</strong><strong> </strong><strong>प्रवृत्ति</strong><strong>:</strong> ठाकुर ने उसे अपने हाथों से पकड़ा था. इसलिए उसने ठाकुर के सिर्फ हाथों को सज़ा दी. अगर वो चाहता तो गर्दन भी काट सकता था. पर उसके ममतापूर्ण और करुणामय ह्रदय ने उसे ऐसा करने से रोक दिया.</span></div><div style="font-family: courier new,monospace;"><span style="font-size: medium;">3.<strong> </strong><strong>नृत्य</strong><strong>-</strong><strong>संगीत</strong><strong> </strong><strong>का</strong><strong> </strong><strong>शौकीन</strong>: 'महबूबा ओये महबूबा' गीत के समय उसके कलाकार ह्रदय का परिचय मिलता है. अन्य डाकुओं की तरह उसका ह्रदय शुष्क नहीं था. वह जीवन में नृत्य-संगीत एवंकला के महत्त्व को समझता था. बसन्ती को पकड़ने के बाद उसके मन का नृत्यप्रेमी फिर से जाग उठा था. उसने बसन्ती के अन्दर छुपी नर्तकी को एक पल में पहचान लिया था. गौरतलब यह कि कला के प्रति अपने प्रेम को अभिव्यक्त करने का वह कोई अवसर नहीं छोड़ता था.</span></div><div style="font-family: courier new,monospace;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>4. </strong><strong>अनुशासनप्रिय</strong><strong> </strong><strong>नायक</strong><strong>:</strong> जब कालिया और उसके दोस्त अपने प्रोजेक्ट से नाकाम होकर लौटे तो उसने कतई ढीलाई नहीं बरती. अनुशासन के प्रति अपने अगाध समर्पण को दर्शाते हुए उसने उन्हें तुरंत सज़ा दी.<br />
<strong></strong></span> </div><div style="font-family: courier new,monospace;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>5. </strong><strong>हास्य</strong><strong>-</strong><strong>रस</strong><strong> </strong><strong>का</strong><strong> </strong><strong>प्रेमी</strong><strong>:</strong> उसमें गज़ब का सेन्स ऑफ ह्यूमर था. कालिया और उसके दो दोस्तों को मारने से पहले उसने उन तीनों को खूब हंसाया था. ताकि वो हंसते-हंसते दुनिया को अलविदा कह सकें. वह आधुनिक यु का 'लाफिंग बुद्धा' था.</span></div><div style="font-family: courier new,monospace;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>6. </strong><strong>नारी</strong><strong> </strong><strong>के</strong><strong> </strong><strong>प्रति</strong><strong> </strong><strong>सम्मान</strong>: बसन्ती जैसी सुन्दर नारी का अपहरण करने के बाद उसने उससे एक नृत्य का निवेदन किया. आज-कल का खलनायक होता तो शायद कुछ और करता.</span></div><div style="font-family: courier new,monospace;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>7. </strong><strong>भिक्षुक</strong><strong> </strong><strong>जीवन</strong><strong>:</strong> उसने हिन्दू धर्म और महात्मा बुद्ध द्वारा दिखाए गए भिक्षुक जीवन के रास्ते को अपनाया था. रामपुर और अन्य गाँवों से उसे जो भी सूखा-कच्चा अनाज मिलता था, वो उसी से अपनी गुजर-बसर करता था. सोना, चांदी, बिरयानी या चिकन मलाई टिक्का की उसने कभी इच्छा ज़ाहिर नहीं की.</span></div><div style="font-family: courier new,monospace;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>8. </strong><strong>सामाजिक</strong><strong> </strong><strong>कार्य</strong><strong>:</strong> डकैती के पेशे के अलावा वो छोटे बच्चों को सुलाने का भी काम करता था. सैकड़ों माताएं उसका नाम लेती थीं ताकि बच्चे बिना कलह किए सो जाएं. सरकार ने उसपर 50,000 रुपयों का इनाम घोषित कर रखा था. उस युग में 'कौन बनेगा करोड़पति' ना होने के बावजूद लोगों को रातों-रात अमीर बनाने का गब्बर का यह सच्चा प्रयास था.</span></div><div style="font-family: courier new,monospace;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>9. </strong><strong>महानायकों</strong><strong> </strong><strong>का</strong><strong> </strong><strong>निर्माता</strong><strong>:</strong> अगर गब्बर नहीं होता तो जय और वरू जैसे लुच्चे-लफंगे छोटी-मोटी चोरियां करते हुए स्वर्ग सिधार जाते. पर यह गब्बर के व्यक्तित्व का प्रताप था कि उन लफंगों में भी महानायक बनने की क्षमता जागी.</span></div><div style="font-family: courier new,monospace;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>लेखक : अनजान (किसी को मालूम हो तो बताने की कृपा करे)</strong><br />
<strong> स्त्रोत : फोरवर्ड इ-मेल (Sandeep)</strong></span> </div></div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-50888116279436344322011-02-07T19:56:00.002+05:302011-02-07T20:11:04.741+05:30Clever Re-Arrangement of word<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;">DILIP VENGSARKAR </span><span style="color: #0021bf; font-size: 24pt;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #0021bf; font-size: 24pt;">When you rearrange the letters: </span><span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;">SPARKLING DRIVE </span></div><br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;"> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
PRINCESS DIANA </span><span style="color: #0021bf; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
When you rearrange the letters: </span><span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
END IS A CAR SPIN</span> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
MONICA LEWINSKY </span><span style="color: #0021bf; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
When you rearrange the letters: </span><span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
NICE SILKY WOMAN </span> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
DORMITORY: </span><span style="color: #0021bf; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
When you rearrange the letters: </span><span style="color: #8100ff; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
DIRTY ROOM </span> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
ASTRONOMER: </span><span style="color: #0021bf; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
When you rearrange the letters: </span><span style="color: #8100ff; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
MOON STARER</span> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
DESPERATION </span><span style="color: blue; font-size: 10pt;"> </span> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;"> </span><span style="color: #0021bf; font-size: 24pt;"> When you rearrange the letters: </span><span style="color: #8100ff; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
A ROPE ENDS IT </span> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
THE EYES: </span><span style="color: #0021bf; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
When you rearrange the letters: </span><span style="color: #8100ff; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
THEY SEE </span> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
</span><br />
</div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
A DECIMAL POINT: </span><span style="color: #0021bf; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
When you rearrange the letters: </span><span style="color: #8100ff; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
I M A DOT IN PLACE </span> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #5291ef; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
</span><span style="color: #0021bf; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
<br />
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: </span> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: red; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
MOTHER-IN-LAW: </span></b> </div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red; font-size: 24pt;"><br />
When you rearrange the letters:</span></div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red; font-size: 24pt;"> </span><span style="color: magenta; font-size: 24pt;">WOMAN HITLER</span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;"><b style="color: black;">Source: Forwarded E-Mail</b> </span><span style="color: #8100ff; font-size: large;"> </span> </div></div></div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-8060662910857806872011-02-06T23:31:00.001+05:302011-02-06T23:32:57.064+05:30Impact of job change<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-IN" style="color: #3333ff;">A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.</span><span style="color: blue;"></span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-IN" style="color: #3333ff;">For a second everything went quiet in the cab, and then the driver said:<br />
<br />
"Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"<br />
<br />
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."<br />
<br />
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years....... u can imagine what went into my mind when u touched my back!!"</span></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-IN" style="color: #3333ff;">Author: Unknown</span></span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN-IN" style="color: #3333ff;">Source: Forwarded E-Mail </span></span></b></div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-28168817948606518082011-02-04T00:15:00.001+05:302011-02-08T08:55:17.482+05:30A Woman's Poem<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">A little laugh for the women & </span><span style="font-size: small;">a sign of caution to our dear men... </span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"> He didn't like the curry<br />
And he didn't like my cake.<br />
He said my biscuits were too hard...<br />
Not like his mother used to make.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"> I didn't prepare the coffee right<br />
He didn't like the stew,<br />
I didn't mend his socks<br />
The way his mother used to do.<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"> I pondered for an answer<br />
I was looking for a clue.<br />
Isn't there anything I could do<br />
To match his mothers shoe</span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
Then I smiled as I saw light<br />
One thing I could definitely do<br />
I turned around & slapped him tight<br />
Like his mother used to do!!! :)</span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">Author: Unknown</span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">Source: Forwarded E-Mail</span></div></div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-43582152343536626642011-02-01T19:39:00.001+05:302011-02-01T19:40:45.002+05:30Bhai(Don) Ka Resume<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><b>Pakya Bhai Supariwala</b><br />
<br />
<b>Objective:</b><br />
To obtain a challenging position as a Crime Implementation Analyst (CIA)<br />
<br />
<b>Education:</b><br />
* B.S. (Crime Technology) Tihar Jail, India, August 1994<br />
* M.S. (Criminal Sciences) Virginia Prison for International Smugglers and<br />
the Unlawful Activists(VPISUA), August 1996.<br />
<br />
<b>Thesis:</b><br />
"On escaping from high security prisons like Alcatraz with minimal efforts"<br />
<br />
<b>Coursework:</b><br />
Cop Psychology, Plastic Explosives Technology, Bomb Controls and Timer<br />
Device Theory, International Smuggling and Drug Trafficking, Object Oriented<br />
Crime Design<br />
<br />
<b>Work Experience:</b><br />
* Research Assistant, LTTE Labs, Jaffna, Aug 1990-Aug 1991<br />
* Worked on the prestigious Belt Bomb project<br />
* Developed instant death cyanide capsules in orange, strawberry; and mint<br />
flavors (Patent# 007,13,666)<br />
<br />
<b>Summer Internship:</b><br />
* Dawood Ibrahim and Haji Mastan Associates, Bombay, June1987-July1990<br />
* Worked as a hitman and was responsible for many supari style killings<br />
* Participated in election rigging in Bihar and made hafta Collections<br />
<br />
<b>Honors & Achievements:</b><br />
* Won 1980 Gabbar Singh Memorial Award (given to child prodigies in crime)<br />
* Member, IPKF (Indian Professional Killers Forum) student chapter<br />
* Performer of the year in 2004 General Elections in Bihar & U.P.<br />
* Strong hold on Govt. & NGOs.<br />
* Specialized in extortion,illegal construction business & fake academic<br />
degree supply.<br />
<br />
<b>References:</b><br />
* Dr. Charles Sobhraj, Full Time Prof., Tihar Jail, New Delhi<br />
* Dr. Chandra Swamy, Visiting Faculty Tihar Jail, New Delhi<br />
* Dr. Dawood Ibrahim, Overseas Projects Manager, Dubai<br />
<br />
<b>Source: Forwarded E-Mail</b> </div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-85032717049661528142011-02-01T16:09:00.000+05:302011-02-01T16:09:40.734+05:30Quotes from married men :-)))<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span><span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. </i></b></span> <span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.</i></b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b> </b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>David Bissonette<i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Sacha Guitry<i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Hemant Joshi</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b><i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Socrates</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b><i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Dumas</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b><i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Sigmund Freud<i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Anonymous<i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Henry Youngman<i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Sam Kinison</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b><i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>James Holt McGavran</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b><i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." </i>Patrick Murray</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Nash</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><i> </i></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Anonymous</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b><i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.</i></b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b><i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Henny Youngman</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b><i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.</i></b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b> </b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Rodney Dangerfield</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b><i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.</i></b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b> </b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Milton Berle<i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.</i></b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b> </b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Anonymous</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b><i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b>Anonymous</b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><b><i> </i></b></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span> <br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive." </i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: navy; font-size: medium;"><b><i>Source: Forwarded E-Mail </i></b></span> </span></div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-62838372153081100162011-01-31T20:09:00.000+05:302011-01-31T20:09:43.509+05:30Superb<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Never trust the DOUBTED ones and Never doubt the TRUSTED ones,<br />
u have REAL-EYES to REALISE the "REAL-LIES"</div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-49935469692291407912011-01-04T21:53:00.001+05:302011-02-01T17:00:06.166+05:30Maths Teacher's Love Letter<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">My Dear Sweet Heart, <br />
<br />
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. <br />
<br />
There I saw you with our cute circular face,conical nose and spherical eyes,standing in your triangular garden. <br />
<br />
Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated. <br />
<br />
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. <br />
<br />
The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. <br />
<br />
I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity. <br />
<br />
You are as essential to me as an element to a set. <br />
<br />
The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. <br />
<br />
My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. <br />
<br />
With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Source: Forwarded E-Mail </span></div></div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-77513625932311767692011-01-04T20:43:00.000+05:302011-01-04T20:43:58.547+05:30acronyms<b>WIFE: W</b>ihtout <b>I</b>nformation <b>F</b>ighting <b>E</b>verytime<br />
<br />
<b>LOVER:</b> <b>L</b>oss <b>O</b>f <b>V</b>aluable <b>E</b>nergy & <b>R</b>upees<br />
<br />
<b>FRIEND: F</b>irst <b>R</b>elation <b>I</b>n <b>E</b>arth (which) <b>N</b>ever <b>D</b>ies...<br />
<br />
<b>Source: Forwarded SMS</b>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-79749233755050746542010-12-30T09:52:00.000+05:302010-12-30T09:52:36.452+05:30Relationships (India vs Overseas)<b><span style="color: #990000; font-size: 24pt;">R</span></b><b><span style="color: #990000; font-size: 18pt;">ELATIONSHIPS</span></b><b><span style="color: blue; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></b><b><span style="color: blue; font-size: 10pt;"> <div><div><b><span style="color: #990000; font-size: 10pt;">( INDIA vs OVERSEAS)</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></div></div><blockquote><div><div><div><div><div><table border="1" cellpadding="0"><tbody>
<tr style="min-height: 1.5pt;"> <td style="min-height: 1.5pt;" width="20%"><div><div><b><span style="color: white; font-size: 10pt;">Relation</span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 1.5pt;" width="40%"><div><div><b><span style="color: white; font-size: 10pt;">In India </span></b></div></div><div>INDIA</div></td><td style="min-height: 1.5pt;" width="45%"><div><div><b><span style="color: white; font-size: 10pt;">Outside India</span></b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></div></div><div>OVERSEAS</div></td> </tr>
<tr style="min-height: 8.25pt;"> <td style="min-height: 8.25pt;" width="24%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">Mother-in-law</span></div></div></td><td style="min-height: 8.25pt;" width="41%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A woman capable of making your life miserable. </span></div></div></td><td style="min-height: 8.25pt;" width="35%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A woman you never fight with, because where else you will find such a dedicated baby sitter for free ?</span></div></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td width="24%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">Husband</span></div></div></td> <td width="41%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A boring human species, who listens more to his mother than you, and orders you around to serve him, his parents and siblings. </span></div></div></td> <td width="35%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">Still boring, but now a useful human species that comes in handy when the house needs to be vacuumed.</span></div></div></td> </tr>
<tr style="min-height: 24pt;"> <td style="min-height: 24pt;" width="24%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">Friend</span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 24pt;" width="41%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A person whose house you can drop into any time of the day or night and you'll always be welcome.</span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 24pt;" width="35%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A person whom you have to call first to check and make sure he is not busy. </span></div></div></td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 25.5pt;"> <td style="min-height: 25.5pt;" width="24%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">Wife</span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 25.5pt;" width="41%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A woman who gives you your underwear and towel when you go to take a shower. </span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 25.5pt;" width="35%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A woman who yells at you not to leave tub dirty when you go to take bath. </span></div></div></td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 45.75pt;"> <td style="min-height: 45.75pt;" width="24%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">Son</span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 45.75pt;" width="41%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A teenager, who without asking will carry your grocery bags from the market. </span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 45.75pt;" width="35%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A teenager, who suddenly remembers he has lot of homework when you start mowing the lawn. </span></div></div></td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 33.75pt;"> <td style="min-height: 33.75pt;" width="24%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">Daughter</span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 33.75pt;" width="41%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A lovely doll, who brings tears to your eyes during her marriage. </span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 33.75pt;" width="35%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A lovely doll, who brings you to tears long before her marriage. </span></div></div></td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 43.5pt;"> <td style="min-height: 43.5pt;" width="24%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">Father</span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 43.5pt;" width="41%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A person you are afraid of, and who is never to be disobeyed . </span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 43.5pt;" width="35%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A person to whom you pretend to obey, after all he is the one paying your college tuition. </span></div></div></td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 33.75pt;"> <td style="min-height: 33.75pt;" width="24%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">Indian Engineer</span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 33.75pt;" width="41%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A person with a respectable job and earning lots.</span> </div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 33.75pt;" width="35%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A person without a secure job, who always dreams one day he will be rich. </span></div></div></td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 41.25pt;"> <td style="min-height: 41.25pt;" width="24%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">Doctor</span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 41.25pt;" width="41%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A respectable person with OK income. </span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 41.25pt;" width="35%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A money making machine, who has a money spending machine at home called "doctor's wife". </span></div></div></td></tr>
<tr> <td width="24%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">Bhangra </span></div></div></td> <td width="41%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A vigorous Punjabi festival dance. </span></div></div></td> <td width="35%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A dance you do, when you don't know how to dance. </span></div></div></td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 60pt;"> <td style="min-height: 60pt;" width="24%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">Software Engineer</span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 60pt;" width="41%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A high-tech guy, always speaks in American accent, always anxious to queue in the consulate visa line. </span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 60pt;" width="35%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">The same hi-tech guy, who does Ganapati Puja everyday, and says 'This is my last year in the US (or wherever)'every year.</span></div></div></td></tr>
<tr style="min-height: 66pt;"> <td style="min-height: 66pt;" width="24%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">A Green Card holder bachelor</span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 66pt;" width="41%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">the guy can't speak Hindi, parents of good looking girls are dying to hook him, wears jacket in summer, says he has a BMW back there. </span></div></div></td> <td style="min-height: 66pt;" width="35%"><div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10pt;">the guy can't speak proper English, wears jacket all the time, works in a Candy store at Manhattan, dreams of owning a BMW </span></div></div></td></tr>
</tbody></table></div></div></div></div></div></blockquote></span></b>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-17412116832973326612010-12-27T19:32:00.000+05:302010-12-27T19:32:21.500+05:30Acronym of DAIRYMILK<div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">Do u know Full form of DAIRYMILK?<br />
"Darling Always I Remember You, Meet Immediately for a Lovely Kiss".<br />
<br />
That's why boys always gift DAIRYMILK and girls accept it.. :)</span></div>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-41481528861215294552010-12-18T20:42:00.000+05:302010-12-18T20:42:17.183+05:30Acronyms<strong>Acronym of Good Morning:</strong><br />
<br />
<br />
(G)et up<br />
(O)pen ur eye<br />
(O)ut of ur bed<br />
(D)ay has risen<br />
(M)erry life<br />
(O)ld dreams come true<br />
(R)ise & shine<br />
(N)ew plans<br />
(I)deas of life<br />
(N)ice future<br />
(G)ud day!<br />
<br />
<strong>Acronym of Good Night:</strong><br />
<br />
(G)o to bed<br />
(O)ff the light<br />
(O)ut of tension<br />
(D)reams come<br />
(N)ice sleep<br />
(I)gnore worries<br />
(G)et up earlier<br />
(H)ave a nice day for<br />
(T)omorrow<br />
<br />
<strong>Source: Forwarded SMS</strong>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-48175644766046193852010-12-18T20:23:00.000+05:302010-12-18T20:23:27.939+05:30Acronym of GIRL<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">G - Gussa hamesha naak pe</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">I - Innocent sirf shakal se</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">R - Rone ki automatic machine</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">L - ladai me sabki nani</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">fir bhi duniya inki diwani</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New; font-size: large;">Source: Forwarded SMS</span>Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-63956349361805820912010-11-29T16:06:00.000+05:302010-11-29T16:06:54.411+05:30Rajnikanth Rocks!!!1.. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.<br />
2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. ...He is<br />
pushing the earth down.<br />
3. There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures<br />
that Rajini...kanth allowed to live.<br />
4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.<br />
5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero.<br />
6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover.<br />
7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.<br />
8. <span style="color: blue;">Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin. After deleting files rajni doesnt send them to recycle bin, he sends them to HELL</span><br />
9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays<br />
DVDs.<br />
10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.<br />
11. <span style="color: blue;">Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are</span><br />
<div style="color: blue;">today called giraffes.</div>12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.<br />
13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.<br />
<br />
14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until<br />
Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.<br />
<br />
15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.<br />
16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.<br />
<br />
17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.<br />
18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes<br />
the element of surprise.<br />
19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.<br />
20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.<br />
21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.<br />
<br />
22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.<br />
23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.<br />
24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.<br />
25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in<br />
fear.<br />
26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking,<br />
and he got what he deserved.<br />
27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.<br />
28. <span style="color: blue;">Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.</span><br />
29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives<br />
in Chennai.<br />
30. <span style="color: blue;">Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.</span><br />
31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because<br />
revenge is a dish best served cold.<br />
<br />
32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs<br />
of life there.<br />
33.<span style="color: blue;"> Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the</span><br />
<div style="color: blue;">speed of Rajinikanth.</div>34<span style="color: blue;">. Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.</span><br />
35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.<br />
36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.<br />
37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.<br />
38. Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth;<br />
Rajinikanth finds you.<br />
39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.<br />
40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.<br />
41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The<br />
result? Mother Teresa.<br />
42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.<br />
<br />
43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.<br />
44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.<br />
45. Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter.<br />
46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.<br />
<br />
47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.<br />
48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.<br />
49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.<br />
50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.<br />
51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.<br />
52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.<br />
53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a<br />
joke on the internet.<br />
54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox<br />
is now eradicated.<br />
55. Rajinikanth's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd,<br />
no one fools Rajanikanth.<br />
56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water<br />
with his own rage.<br />
57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do<br />
it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.<br />
58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.<br />
<br />
59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself<br />
in the back of the head.<br />
60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw<br />
himself.<br />
61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows.<br />
62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made<br />
him blink.<br />
63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.<br />
64. Rajinikant doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.<br />
65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.<br />
66. <span style="color: blue;">When you say "no one is perfect", Rajinikant takes this as a</span><br />
<div style="color: blue;">personal insult.</div>67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could<br />
use to kill you, including the room itself.<br />
<br />
68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the<br />
dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.<br />
69. The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to<br />
Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.<br />
70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots<br />
the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.<br />
71. <span style="color: blue;">Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.</span><br />
72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.<br />
<br />
73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.<br />
74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the<br />
tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.<br />
75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the<br />
alphabet.<br />
76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon.<br />
77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.<br />
78. Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from<br />
the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the<br />
earth rotates.<br />
79. Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's.<br />
80. Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.<br />
81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.<br />
82. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist.<br />
83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth,<br />
there is no other way.<br />
84. Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina<br />
was the result of a morning jog.<br />
85. Rajinikant doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the<br />
other nine faint out of fear.<br />
86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to<br />
the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered<br />
Rajinikant".<br />
87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling<br />
cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.<br />
88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating<br />
pain, the cobra died.<br />
89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can<br />
hide from Rajinikanth.<br />
90. <span style="color: blue;">Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs</span><br />
<div style="color: blue;">an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide</div><div style="color: blue;">the reaction.</div><br />
91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the<br />
world.<br />
92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet<br />
that Rajinikanth is on.<br />
93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away<br />
from Rajinikanth.<br />
94. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth.<br />
95.Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.<br />
96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out<br />
of sheer terror.<br />
97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world<br />
99. Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.<br />
100. you dont google rajnikanth...u rajnikanth google<br />
<span> 101. Rajnikanth's email is <a class="smarterwiki-linkify" href="mailto:gmail@rajnikanth.com">gmail@rajnikanth.com</a></span><br />
102. The world will not end in 2012, Rajnikanth has bought a computer with a 3 year warranty.<br />
103. Even Ghajni remembers Rajni !!!<br />
104. The day ROBOT was released, Rajnikanth gave Times of India a rating of 4 stars<br />
Some actors set benchmarks in cinema, Rajnikanth sets deskmarks<br />
105. Micheal Jordan to Rajni - I can spin a basketball on my fingers for 2 hrs. Can u? Rajnikanth - How do u think earth spins?<br />
106. Rajnikant.. once wrote his Autobiography - The book is today known as The Guiness Book of World Records!<br />
107. While playing once rajnikanth said "statue" to a girl..now its know as "Statue of Liberty<br />
108. Rajnikanth to buy Facebook, he will be making one change in it, instead of 'like' he will put 'sooper'<br />
109. Rajnikanth once rolled a dice and scored a 7<br />
110. Rajnikanth runs until the Treadmill gets tired<br />
111. Rajnikant got into a fight with Superman. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pant for the rest of his life. ;)<br />
112. Once Dinosaurs borrowed money frm Rajnikanth n refused 2pay him back.. Tat was d last time.After that no one saw Dinosaurs<br />
113. Rajni gives permission to Sachin to score those hundreds..<br />
114. Alfred Noble won RAJNIKANTH award !<br />
115. Rajnikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.<br />
116. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on.... he turns the dark off.<br />
117. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.<br />
118. Rajnikant’s codes are never reviewed, if he makes an error, that’s an invention<br />
119. Rajnikanth can write into A READ ONLY FILE<br />
120. Rajnikanth don’t have a Twitter account, Because no one can follow him and he’s already following you<br />
121. Bullets dodge Rajnikanth.<br />
122. If you spell Rajnikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajnikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."<br />
123.Rajnikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.<br />
124. The square root of Rajnikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajnikanth, the result is death.<br />
125. Rajnikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life unless it gets in his way.<br />
126. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.<br />
127.Rajnikanth laughs at you and your silly jokes about him even before you think them up. So don't bother..<br />
128.One nite, while asleep, Rajnikanth was mumbling some random numbrs... Thats how the Log table was invented.<br />
129. Some actor set benchmarks in cinema, Rajnikanth sets deskmarks<br />
130. If Rajnikanth would have born 100 years back, British would have fought to get independence.<br />
131.Rajnikanth saved the Gal in one hand....titanic in other<br />
132.Every morning rajni goes for spacewalk<br />
132.Rajni is so hot..d cigarette burns before its lit<br />
133.Rajnikanth irons his shirts while he's wearing them.<br />
134. Rajnikanth wrote a check without any bank balance and the bank bounced<br />
135.Only Rajnikanth can smell what the rock is cooking.<br />
136. Intel's new tag line.... RAJNIKANT INSIDE!<br />
137.<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">Once Rajnikanth entered bigg boss...The next day announcement was made... Rajnikanth chahte hai ki bigg boss confession room me aaye..</span></b><br />
138.Rajnikanth can cut knife with apple.<br />
139.What does GOD exclaim when he is shocked ? Oh my Rajnikaanth!!!!!<br />
140.Rajnikanth knows who let the dogs out.<br />
141.Nature answers Rajnikanth's call.<br />
<br />
Source : http://www.bollywoodtrends.net/2010/10/rajnikanth-jokes-and-his-super-natural.htmlHiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-2126053593069167672010-11-27T11:06:00.000+05:302010-11-27T11:06:55.514+05:30Santa FeverSanta for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . <br />
<br />
<br />
He replaced friend with father in the essay and it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,<br />
<br />
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.<br />
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .<br />
<br />
Interviewer: what s ur qualification?<br />
<br />
Santa : Sir I am Ph.d.<br />
<br />
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?<br />
<br />
Santa : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. ..<br />
<br />
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .<br />
<br />
<br />
Prince Charles & Santa were having dinner.<br />
<br />
<br />
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".<br />
<br />
Santa thinks "how poetic"<br />
<br />
Santa says, "pass the custard you bastard".<br />
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .<br />
<br />
Preeto was about to give birth to a baby.<br />
<br />
Santa: If it looks like you, it would be great.<br />
<br />
Preeto : If it looks like you, it would be a miracle.<br />
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8181217175485015367.post-9817957638283870092010-09-27T15:37:00.000+05:302010-09-27T15:37:43.396+05:30Daughter's DaySeptember 26 is being celebrated as Daughter’s Day. <br />
<br />
For parents, every child is special – whether it is a boy or a girl. Daughters are lovely gift to all those who have from the almighty. The angel has descended from heaven with sparkle in their eyes, rosy lips and sweetness of the sound which is produced when they call mom or dad. The emotion that one undergoes hearing ‘mom’ or ‘dad’ for the first time from their daughter’s mouth is just inexplicable.<br />
<br />
Some of the wishes from the parents to their daughters:<br />
<br />
With each passing day..<br />
you have evolved…<br />
as a more beautiful individual…<br />
And on Daughter’s Day…<br />
I want you to know…<br />
How much I am proud of you!<br />
<br />
A daughter like you completes the family,<br />
Had you not been there, we would be an incomplete family,<br />
Thanks for coming to our life;<br />
You lighten up each day and night<br />
As you are a sun that always shines bright.<br />
Love you Daughter…Hiren Barbhayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09206903291557545502noreply@blogger.com0