Quotes from married men :-)))

I  recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette
 
 
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
 
 
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi
 
 
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
 
 
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas
 
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
 
 
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
 
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.  A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry Youngman
 
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison
 
 
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
 
 
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." Patrick Murray
 
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
 
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
 
 
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
 
 
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
 
 
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle
 
 
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous
 
 
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
 
 
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive." 

Source: Forwarded E-Mail 

Relationships (India vs Overseas)

RELATIONSHIPS 

( INDIA vs OVERSEAS)

Relation	In India INDIA	Outside India OVERSEAS
Mother-in-law	A woman capable of making your life miserable.	A woman you never fight with, because where else you will find such a dedicated baby sitter for free ?
Husband	A boring human species, who listens more to his mother than you, and orders you around to serve him, his parents and siblings.	Still boring, but now a useful human species that comes in handy when the house needs to be vacuumed.
Friend	A person whose house you can drop into any time of the day or night and you'll always be welcome.	A person whom you have to call first to check and make sure he is not busy.
Wife	A woman who gives you your underwear and towel when you go to take a shower.	A woman who yells at you not to leave tub dirty when you go to take bath.
Son	A teenager, who without asking will carry your grocery bags from the market.	A teenager, who suddenly remembers he has lot of homework when you start mowing the lawn.
Daughter	A lovely doll, who brings tears to your eyes during her marriage.	A lovely doll, who brings you to tears long before her marriage.
Father	A person you are afraid of, and who is never to be disobeyed .	A person to whom you pretend to obey, after all he is the one paying your college tuition.
Indian Engineer	A person with a respectable job and earning lots.	A person without a secure job, who always dreams one day he will be rich.
Doctor	A respectable person with OK income.	A money making machine, who has a money spending machine at home called "doctor's wife".
Bhangra	A vigorous Punjabi festival dance.	A dance you do, when you don't know how to dance.
Software Engineer	A high-tech guy, always speaks in American accent, always anxious to queue in the consulate visa line.	The same hi-tech guy, who does Ganapati Puja everyday, and says 'This is my last year in the US (or wherever)'every year.
A Green Card holder bachelor	the guy can't speak Hindi, parents of good looking girls are dying to hook him, wears jacket in summer, says he has a BMW back there.	the guy can't speak proper English, wears jacket all the time, works in a Candy store at Manhattan, dreams of owning a BMW